“BOTH SIDES NOW” by Janet Nash chewed on the piece of spearmint gum in her mouth. It was then she had discovered how much she really cared for Don, and screamed, not really at her mother, but at self, ‘| do care for him!'’ She could Julie threw small, red open brick the back house and door of the ran down the porch steps and down the leaf-carpeted sidewalk. Halfway down the block, she slowed down and stopped. The crisp air made small chills tighten her bare cheeks. Standing in the crimson rays of the late October sunset, her breath came in short gasps as she tried to gather her scattered thoughts together. Does it really matter what color a person is?’’ She thought. Pulling her green jacket closer to her, she leaned against one of the tall elm trees lining the narrow street. The cold Autumn breeze rustled in the tops like gentle hands, shaking the painted leaves to the ground. Before now, Julie hadn't stopped to think about it. Sure, she knew Don was Japanese, but it just had never seemed important until now. It started with Don the same as with the other guys she dated— the courtesy, except with pening. Things fact, Julie good unselfishness, him, got better wondered enough good these things any every if anyone tmies— kept hap- day. else In was more. She heard her mother’s words again, shooting through her mind. “Don't you think you're seeing this boy a little too often? You're not leading him on, are you, Julie? Julie? Can't yon hear me? Don't just sit there staring at me! You surely can't be serious about him. He's Japan ese.."’ Julie turned away and looked in the long mirror at her reflection in her mother’s _ bedroom. She was of average height and her thick, brown hair framed her long face in soft curls. Her sharp features made her appear always angry and her dark eyebrows etched thick lines above her green eyes, set deep above her long, slender nose. Julie stood with her hands pushed deep into her jacket pockets and herstill see the surprise on her mother's face, the dry, thin lips pulled tight, and her eyes, almost glaring, as Julie ran from the room. Now, just a few minutes later, looking back on this, it seemed years ago. The words were a faint memory. They had no meaning, no life. They were just empty sounds echoing across Julie's mind. Aloud car pulling away from the stop sign on the corner broke the residential quiet and brought Julie out of her thoughts She looked down the street and saw Don's light blue chev coming. She ran to the curb and waved her arms so he would stop. When the car pulled up, she ran to the door Dan had already pushed open for her. ‘What are you doing?’’ Don asked as he started pulling away, the mufflers almost drowning out Julie answered, thinking.”’ ‘Well, | guess his low, ‘Just quiet doing it’s about time, voice. some " he said quietly and they both laughed. Julie leaned over and pulled his mustache. Don winced and gave her a _ long, even stare as he stopped the car. She knew he hated that worse than anything, and slowly she stopped giggling and slid down in the deep bucket seat, avoiding Don's steady gaze. He started laughing to himself and started the car down the road again. His quiet, undisturbed manner always had a settling effect on Julie and soft tranquillity sank into her as she again felt the assurance that Don could handle anything. She looked out the window at the darkened sky and thought, ‘Maybe | should talk to him about how | feel. He'll make things all right. He understands everything”’. Don?" She started cautiously. ‘My... mother doesn't think | should date you any more.’ She waited, and when he didn't say anything, she asked, her temper rising a little, ‘Don't you have any- thing to say?” Julie didn’t know what she expected him to say, but surely something. Something quiet and reassuring. As Don pulled over, stopped the car and turned to look answered. ‘He treats me better than any boy I've ever met. We have so much fun together. Try to understand." ‘What have we ever done to make you want to embarrass us like this?’’ Her at her, mother's she saw something violent in him she had never seen before. His dark eyes gleaming and the muscles in his jaw were drawn tight. ‘What do you want me to say? All right, Miss Wilson, it's been great fun and | hope we can still be friends?’’ Don's voice shook with anger as he continued. ‘Or, maybe say, yes it's better that way. One of the white guys you go out with would be a lot better for you, so forget about me. Julie couldn't hold the hot words at her lips any longer. ‘Take me home now, you ---- Don grabbed her arm hard and Julie stopped yelling, abruptly.’ The ride home was so short and silent. Julie ‘kept thinking of the things they'd said, but nothing made sense. All she knew was that Don had let her down, deserted her when she needed him most. The car pulled up and Julie jumped out and ran to the back door. Standing inside the cold, metal screen she heard the squeal of tires as Don's car pulled away . . . She felt hurt and sick inside, but, most of all, empty, empty and lonely. ‘‘Julie?"’ came the heavy voice of her father from the living room. Julie shut the heavy wooden door and tried to relax her face into softer lines as she walked toward the room. The heavy odor of cigarette ‘smoke hanging in the hallway, and rustling newspapers told Julie her parents had been waiting for her. She took off her jacket and plopped down in the big overstuffed chair under the gold light of the hanging lamp. ‘Where have you been tonight?’’ her mother asked. “With Don,"’ Julie answered abruptly, and started picking at her faded levis. ‘Is there something the matter with your head, girl?’’ her father boomed, standing up. Julie was frightened by her father but swallowed the lump in her throat and Meee ee a oT voice broke, and she started sob- bing. ‘Just today at the office, Marg offered her apologies to me and tried to comfort me by saying, The world is changing, you know, Velma. But if it were her daughter, you can bet she'd feel just as | do! Oh Julie, don’t do this to us, pleases’ Julie jumped up from the chair, ‘‘To you? It’s my life. Why don't you just leave me alone?" “Sit down, young lady,'’ ordered her father. ‘‘Don't ever see that boy again. Do you understand?" ‘Julie knew he-meant it. He never had to give threats, but his orders were always unquestioned, until now. Yes,’ she said. “You've got your whole life ahead of you.’ he continued. ‘‘Don't waste it on someone who could never make you really happy.” ‘Julie, we love you very much and only want the best for you." His voice seemed distant, far away. Julie tried to ignore the voice - just empty sounds and words filling the spaces in the room. The next day in school was slow an Julie couldn't keep her mind on her work, All she could think of was Don. She kept seeing his thick, black hair, his dark eyes and . .. and her favorite item, his mus- tache. Julie frowned as she looked up at the clock in her fourth period English Class. Twenty minutes until lunch! Chris, back in one of her close friends leaned her desk and asked, ‘‘Don com- ing for you at lunch today? You've sure got it good. A good lookin’ guy for lunch every day.!”’ Julie wanted to tell someone about last night, but her friends seemed to watch for, anything to criticize in her and Don's relationship. ‘‘No,"’ she whispered. ‘‘I've got studies."’ ‘Karen told me you're really getting serious about him." Chris sputtered excittedly. ‘My parents would just die, | think, .