APRA DIA pN Meek VOL. XL SLAIN IN HALLS 7 py \\ oy fm Dr, Lionel G, Drecshel, beloved principal of Ben Lomond High School, passed -avay this morning after a croup of unruly students whipped out water pistols and shot him.weight times, Appartently, as earlier renorts indicated, the students were protesting the , color which theiy rooms had been painted, Also siiin in the fracas, which involved girl students too, was assistent princival Tobert Alley, who was beaten up by Mike Hess after a fierce battle, The blecdy coup occurred in Mrs, Grossenbach's sewing class who started the tirade by deman inc that their zoom be oainted "passionate pink" instead of "esrape purple", Every sewing major knows that "grape purple" cetracts from the work at hand, especially with red dots es the pain*ers wished to do, Soon the protests swept throughout the entire science wing, who wanted algeagreen walls, before Mrs. Corey called out the ROC troops to ouell the violence, Four cadets were stoned to death with hair pins by Mrs, Wade, who valiantly led her third period shorthand class into the thick of the fray, Several of her thoughtful students took down the bastle in shorthand for the Low Lander, which ‘will hit the streets telling of this historic event, In the set-up of school government, the new orincipal will probably be Roger Deamer, The next most likely possibility, Mrs, Boyle, withdrew from the race after Mr, Boyle had accused the éentral school government with giving too many green stamps to the local departments. “EAA BEN ICMOND ATHLETE. CHOOSES Cr. z Tie bat YEARS \ ee Don Haacke, renowned tiddly wink sensation, has captured a runaway vote as Ben Lomond's outstanding athlete of the year. Donald went undereated in the regional championships before suffering a loss at the hands of Wally Cox at the National Tid—dlywink Competition, beld jointly this year in Miami, Ohio and Las Vegas, New Mexico. s & «6 He did win second place, however, Donald reports that the NTA (National Tiddlywink Association) paid all the expen= ses, including a trip to the city observe the penguins, Other included a refreshing swim in pond; wonderful acco odations New Mexico State Penitentary; zoo to exciting events the alligator - Cell 234, and numerous ae tj A MY BOY PAL Me. DMricBoyletsiAmerbcan problémsscs classes recently boted to change from TIME Magazine to PAAYBOY, Asked why they dic so, one student commented, "Because it's funner to look at the irmpictutes, anyway," Another interested pupil declared that "TiMS's failure to cover subjects of interest bo the mcdern teen= ager" prompted the vote. He also said, "PLAYBOY hs the unheralded leader prizes, for second place, Don received a two weeks free vacation in Burmuda - The when asked if he approved of stated, "Yea, now's the time Bermuda Boy," Inn, Greenland, 7 Haacke, an avid deep sea fisherman and professional football pdayer for Green Bay, plans to attend Radcliff College where he will major in minors, pe a cate cineca acho <-onnin ptudents, What paper and is a Low Lander? full horrible you read the of laugh tiping filled (as following yu pages It's a great jokes, can puns, sea?!) As you must dise tinguish the April Fool's Day jokes the real thing, The latter will be with a * sigms with marked in uplifting the morals of today's youth with factual, sober, and objective re» porting," One of Mr, Boyle's top seniors, ed of vote, think parts the change to play, Mr. Boyle, who heartily disapprovbeing overridden by the majority cried out, "Today's young men that girls come folded in two with a staple in the navel. I intend to dight this all the way to the tope I{1l stop nothing short of T.O, Smithi i" HERE SERIE HE SE IE IETE SE IEICE SE SE IE SEE IE SE TENE HE SE IESE TENE ENE NESE NE NESE IE HE * * * * * IT'S HERE IN THIS ISSUE Liz Taylor Talks on "PURITY'? TIME to PLAYBOY Beatlemania - Revisited School Colors Changed FETE IE IE EH ETE SIE HE ERE IE He HEHE ERE HE HE ETE HE HE SESE HE AE SEE EE * * # # %