FRIDAY, MARCH 13, 1964 SCOT SCOOPS or THE HIGHLANDER PAGE 3 Why's the Shore So Near the Ocean? Commercial - itis, a strange do the floor, and some JOHNdisease sweeping the country, SON’S wax for your father’s can be easily described. It athlete’s foot. Why don’t you starts when people begin watch- pick up a box of SALVO tabing television at dawn, working lets for your sister’s. sore to the throb of the pulse in the throat?” Bufferin ad and sleeping with| _ “Oh yeah. Sure, Mom. As long the Sominex jingle ringing in as I don’t have anything else their ears. to do, what else for the famWhat would happen if people ily?” began talking in commercial “Since you asked, there is. tones? Their conversation would probably go something like this: Pick up some RIGHT GUARD for the cat and some CREST “Mom, I’m going down to the drugstore to buy a gallon of toothpaste. Did you know that that motor oil, BARDAHL, for 24 per cent of all dogs use iit? At the bakery, pick up a doztonight’s supper. O.K.?” “Fine, dear. While you’re en chocolate - covered GOODYEAR tires for dessert. That’s there, will you pick up a bottle of VANISH, that new dand- all.” ruff shampoo? I want to wash “O.K. Mom, Ill be back about my hair. Also, pick up a pack- half-past Superman. See ya age of EX-LAX, as I have to then!” SECRET NOW REVEALED One of the most. closely “Censorship,” set up by underguarded secrets ever housed ground agent Kathy Heiner and within the halls of BLHS leak- her partner, JoAnne Glissmeyed out late last night. Students er, and the system organized in Mr. Rampton’s Social Stud- by Gerry Turley and Jeanne ies Seminar staged an effect- Allred, who took over with ive takeover January 24 and “Cheating”’. have had control of the class Casualties remain negligible ever since. thus far, but student leaders inMany guerilla leaders have dicate that the class will stand seized power since the initial up and fight if Tammie Quick spearhead directed by Linda and Teresa Rivera try to take Watts and Carol Deegan, who over with their subject, “Amer. transformed the classroom into ica’s Me of Death”. _ night ade Two such leaders, Richard Emmert and Clark Walker, snatched control from Linda and Carol. The class, under the direction of Clark and Richard, then gathered itself into a legislative body and reviewed the “Utah Educational Crisis.” The Emmert-Walker dictatorship lasted four short days and then fell to a coup headed by Julie Engberg and Judy Bennit. These military strategists clustered the class together for a film and speaker on “High School Dropouts”. Other governments: have risen and fallen since then, including one centered around Joyce Gerald Jones Bill Chadburn Cheryl Thorsted Welling MEET THE SCOTS This week’s MEET THE SCOTS or the inside scoop includes Gerald Chadburn, Joyce Jones, Bill Thorsted, and Cheryl Welling. After desperately trying to fit together another column, I called upon a few friends and got their opinions of their fellow associates. After putting Gerald Chadburn up for discussion I received several tid-bits which may interest you. For instance, have you heard of the newest jazz mass? Well, Gerald did and it’s been rumored that he tried the bit on his seminary. class. (He plays the piano.) Along with his other talents he also plays the violin and spells out some top poems, essays, and short stories in Mrs. Boyle’s creative writing class. Now for revealing the shocking secret. For all those who are still wondering about who played Santa in the Junior’s Christmas Party the clues lead to Bill Thorsted. Along with Seeecenen eee = being the “Dad with the beard” Bill also enjoys a game of golf. Joyce Jones, B.L.’s all around “nice kid’, enjoys swimming and sewing. She not only makes many of her own clothes, but she’s the best when it comes to doing hair. The nicest “nut” in the school, Cheryl Welling, hopes to become a full-time Beatnik. If you don’t believe me, just talk to Harvey. Harvey happens to be her invisible rabbit with a Ph.D; -= If you don’t feel up to par, choose another golf course. _ People who don’t have prob: lems seo: WOETy: | | Wren | Shirts Ltd Heme of Necessary and Unnecessary Auto Parts Ogden Auto Parts & Glass Co. 363 22nd St. THE SHERWINWILLIAMS CO. 311 - 24th Ogden, SW Street THE SPRING — Utah PAINT FOR TRADITIONAL COVERS with this collection of handsome stripings designed by Douglas MacDaid, exclusively for _— Wren, and very pen priced at Se Ogden Auto Parts Street — Gael e Florsheim sents sturdy Shoes, another the WING ultimate classic. cashmere: grains. FRED M AUTO GLASS or MIRRORS 22nd FLORSHEIM TIPS The Cellar gets off to a fast start for spring ‘64 EARTH NEED 363 STRIPES —— The in fine popular Brown or men’s wing black. tip. shoes, pre- Made NYE CO} in /