COMMENT a” ¥ ad hi’ Weber State College Alumni Association March 1979 ee 1889-1979 90th anniversary for Weber Memories of Moench Utah climate Pages 4, 5 Page 6 Page 2 Page3 Africa - developing nation Meet - two institutional council members Page 8 I’m OK, your OK, how’s your child? their children. Research revealed that both the mother and father are important in building a child’s self-esteem and have significant contributions to make. Children who had high selfesteem had parents who rein- forced ways. them in the following Are you reinforcing your children in these same areas? @ Acceptance and warmth, sometimes referred to as love, is the foundation. It was discovered that a father’s supporting warmth, love and tenderness are equally important for both boys and girls selfesteem. Specific instances cited by students were “my parents teach me things I want to know,” ‘“‘they are there when I need them and responsive.’ ‘““They don’t say I’m too busy.”’ have _par- realistic in their expectations of parents as long as some specific time is scheduled and then kept. example, ‘“‘Hitting hurts” rather than child!”’ ‘“You’re a mean @Give @Have positive feed-back and “catch” the child doing the right things, being cooperative and good, and let him or her know. Don’t get caught in negative response cycles, finding only that which they are doing wrong to comment on. @Have clear rules and dards. Research indicates stan- it’s not permissive parents but parents with clearly stated standards who are most effective. Be firm and consistent but not harsh or _ punitive. Children who had self-esteem had parents who were:low in * punishment. Children with low self-esteem had parents who were very physically punishing, frequently slapping, hitting and rejecting them. Punishing negatively affects both boys and girls but girls with a mother who is seen as a general democratic spirit in the home where a child feels he has some control over what’s happening. They need a voice in decision-making that affects their own acitivities. This doesn’t mean children are telling their parents what they are going to do but there is a mutual participation in reasoning and deciding together. Children then feel they have some control. It’s not a “do whatever you want”’ nor is ita ‘do as I say” but a middle ground where the result is mutually acceptable. This also cultivates communications which should be open and to hear respectful. @ Listen. Be willing children out even if what they say isn’t what you would like to hear. Children should be (continued on page 2) ion Te. ee can use these principles with punishing ticularly low self-esteem. Parents need to focus on the wrong behavior-not the personality of the — child, for te self-esteem is built and parents highly seh aa these are the pillars upon which Parents can’t always meet a need instantly but ...must set a time when a problem can be dealt with. Children can be ee Ne ' i Parents play a significant role in the development of such feelings according to research conducted by Dr. Frank Apolonio, assistant professor, Child and Family Studies. He used fifth grades students in Florida and measured their levels of self-esteem against their perceptions of their parents. “We can think of self-esteem as based on four major sources: competence, significance, virtue and power,’ said Dr. Apolonio. Competence is that feeling of ablity to cope. Significance comes from being treated by ‘important others’”’ in a way that allows children to see themselves as being loveable and worthwhile. The feeling of ‘virtue’ comes when a child has a personal set of standards of what’s right and wrong and abides by those standards. Power is the sense of control of one’s own life-the feeling of “TI | — \ ee “a = ee ee eee et ae fas whatever life presents me?” can influence what is hapto me and make pening my own acdecisions about tivities.”’ Dr. Apolonio pointed out that Sipo a How does a child develop a high level of self-esteem and acquire the attitude of ‘“‘I can do it’ and “I can cope with oo ES a ee a NS UN NE (USPS 791-360) i