PAGE HIGHLANDER 6 (The first in a series concerning problems facing high school students). Some Lead to Disaster for Both Mother and Child a rather large birthmark that looked like a red mole. She said that the parents who adopted the child, after consulting with several doctors, had an operation performed—the birthmark was removed. She showed me a second picture after surgery. There was hardly even a scar because it had been done by plastic surgery which is very expensive. She pointed out that if the baby had been kept by its natural mother, the operation would never have been perbecause the mother First of all, let’s consider the formed baby who is kept by its natural could not have afforded it. Also mother, but who has no legal the birthmark was growing and father. There are many prob- would have become very disfiglems which can and very often uring and possibly malignant. Now let’s look at the girl who do occur and I would like to cite a few. A girl will become marries after she finds she is pregnant. Here is a situation in pregnant out of wedlock, have the baby, and then feel that she which this happened: Jill was cannot give it up. “I don’t think a junior in high school. She was I could go through life seeing going with a boy who had not little kids playing in the street yet graduated. She found that and wondering whether one of she was pregnant. They decided them was mine. Just stuff like to marry. After the baby came, started having terrible that makes it so hard.” Most they often the girl is young, mid fights because they were young and immature, they lacked monteens to mid-twenties. She wants to get married, and so, of course, ey and weren’t used to the reshe needs to date. This leads sponsibilities that marriage to all sorts of problems. She brings. When they would fight, has to find a sitter and frequent- they would say, “If it weren’t ly must leave her child with fur Billy (the child), I wouldn’t someone that she doesn’t know be stuck here with you.” The well. Very likely, she will fall child who is eight or nine years in love and wish to marry. Many old now and very bright, grew times, her husband-to-be, resent- up hearing his name said in aning the child, will tell her that ger. He knew from infancy that reason his parents she must make a choice between for some the baby and him. If she chooses were angry with him and now he is a terribly emotionally dis_to aie up the baby, the child “ > ed to another hom > turbed cH ild. same hool wal - mother to make a choice, but feels that he can marry her and ~ accept the child. However, far too often when his own babies come, he will favor them over his wife’s child. The child grows up with a lack of love and a feeling of rejection that could make him have serious mental and emotional problems throughout his life. There is also the problem of money. It is terribly expensive to raise a child with the cost of living as it is today. The mother is often young and without an education or a job. Many times there is no one to whom _ she can turn for help, financial or otherwise. Her parents perhaps will not help her because she has let them down. The father of her child usually won’t help her and so to whom does she turn? Most of the time she will go to AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children), commonly known as_ welfare. This is a demoralizing and shaming thing to some of the girls, but is necessary. “The unwed mother completely on her own must rely on State Aid (under $150 a month), must find cheap housing and endure a substandard way of life for herself and her baby.” The child will probably not receive things that he needs, for instance, braces on his teeth, glasses, or any other medical necessity, not to mention the proper food, clothes, etc. In the interview with Mrs. Scovell, I was shown a picture of an ador-able little boy. On his face was NOVEMBER 14, 1969 The Unwed Mother-to-Be Has Several Routes to Go; Is it best for the child conceived out of wedlock to be kept by his natural mother/parents or to be released for adoption? This is a question with which, unfortunately, many young people are faced. (For the year 1964 there was a total of 460 illegitimate births in Utah, alone, and the number has been growing steadily in subsequent years.) In this paper I will analyze this question considering what will benefit the child most. ed without : father. It is true that the tne to-be does not always force the FRIDAY, they ‘disown oa ‘so to speak. Other times, though, if the parents are understanding and helpful, they will let their daughter live with them after the child is born. “The girl who is helped often finds her problem compounded in spite or because of the assistance she gets from family.” It so happens that when a child is living with his grandparents and a very young mother, he begins to look upon his grandmother as his mother, his grandfather as his father and his own mother as his sister. Since there is a generation gap between parents and children, you can imagine what it would be between a child and his grandparents. The child will often grow up confused and insecure, not knowing who is who. A mother will often keep her child because she was deprived of love from her parents during her youth. She doesn’t realize this, but subconsciously she will do one of two things. She will either be overly possessive and protective or she will reject the child just as she was rejected in her childhood. Another occurence also happens when an unwed mother keeps her child. She may try to punish the father of her child for not marrying her or getting her into this situation by punishing the child. This really doesn’t accomplish her purpose but it does tend to hurt the child terribly. An unwed mother is usually less mature than one who is married and she may look at her baby as a doll. She doesn’t realize before she decides to keep it that it is a real live baby who eats, wets, dirties diapers, spits up, cries and does all sorts of things that babies do. She becomes impatient with the child when he cries in the night or when the washing piles up or when any aggravating thing happens. This is one of the reasons for child abuse and child beatings. If the couple gets married “for the baby’s sake,” they are often uneducated and immature. In this day and age it is practically impossible to get a good job without a high school education. If the boy has not graduated from high school (and in this day of specialization, even college is very important), he can seldom get a good enough job to support his wife and child. He feels bogged down and he may seek financial help from his or his wife’s family. He may go to AFDC which causes him much embarrassment, or he may struggle on an inadequate income. This is very disheartening and frustrating thing to have to do and so he may take his frustrations out on his wife and child. In turn, his wife takes. her frustrations out on him and the baby, too. In fact, this is one of the major causes of child beatings and abuse.So far we have just considered the baby who is kept by its mother. Now let’s look at the one who is released for adoption. There are two legal wavs, to adopta baby in_ | tive ‘parents through a doctor or a lawyer in another state. Most Utah private adoptions come from California, Oregon, Washington State, and Colorado. After a wait of several months (in my neighborhood the prospective parents, involved in a private adoption, waited from February to the following September for their baby.) The parents-to-be receive a telephone call. They go to the baby’s birth place, pay all hospital and doctor bills and attorney’s fees ($1,000 to $1,200). Then they return home with the baby. Everything will probably go well, BUT sometimes tragedy strikes. Such things as undetected illness in the baby, parents who for one reason or another should not have a child, legal “hangups,” the natural mother changing her mind and attempting to reclaim the child are a few of these things. There is a lovely family who have five little girls of their own. The mother’s vregnancies have been very difficult. They wanted a baby boy so badly. and Children’s Aid would not place one in their home because they don’t place children if the familv has more than three already. These peovle went through the process for vrivate adoption. They got the little boy this past summer. He was in their home long enough to become one of the family when to their sorrow he was removed from their home because the natural mother had not properly released him. In this case and at his age, he was not the one to suffer, but had he been older this abrupt loss of family could have been a severe emotional shock. In private adoption the thought is “a baby is a baby,” with no matching of backgrounds, nationalities, body structure, coloring, etc. Now let us discuss the second, and far safer method of adoption, using the services of the Children’s Aid Society of Utah. “The sole purpose of the society is to aid unwed mothers and to place babies for adoption.” First, the prospective parents are assigned to a case worker. A number of interviews are scheduled about a month apart. Lengthy questionnaires are completed, and the case worker visits the home. They are thorough because the babies are considered first. However, the baby and parents-to-be are carefuly matched, for instance, perhaps the parents are of English, Irish and Dutch descent, the father a college graduate, the mother high school plus. They can actually be this specific in their application. They can request a baby of Western European background where both parents are either college educated or college material. They may specify sex, color of hair, eyes, and complexion, and even bone structure, small, medium, or large. In other words, the adopting parents are matched as closely as possible to the natural parents. There charge of over the pear and are fees, a_ service about $600 to be paid period of a year to a a half. This, in Dart A QOcror ana Nik Nak Shak Fun Place To Shop 2484 Wash. Blvd. Ogden, Utah By VAN WAGONER leased for adoption through a licensed welfare program. After considering the information available, it is conclusive that if a child is conceived out of wedlock, and if the parents do not or cannot marry, it is in the child’s best interest tto release it for adoption through Children’s Aid. In many instances it is found that the child suffers irreparable emotional damage even when his natural parents do marry if they are immature and poorly educated. Clan News The Moot Clan will meet Monday, Nov. 17, 7:00 to 9:00 in the Weber County Library. German Department On Monday, Nov. 17, a meeting will be held in Room 23. Every student who is interested in a trip to Germany next summer can get some information and take part in the discussion of the planning of the journey. Attendance is not restricted to membership in the German Clan. The meeting is right after school. Seminary to Show "Cat Ballou’ Tonight ee Semupary et be Hava LOS a Sts. After the child is placed, the adoption is not final for a year. The case worker visits the home and is available to help solve problems as they occur. At the end of the “trial” year, the case worker, parents, baby, and lawyer go to court. The case worker has all the files concerning the natural mother, father, birthplace, etc. They go directly from her hands into the judge’s. If all is well, and in this method of adoption, it always is, the papers go from the judge’s hands directly into the clerk’s where they are sealed never to be opened. This safety precaution prevents natural mother and child from ever being able to find one another. The adopting parents then receive a legal birth certificate identical to one received by natural parents, and the baby is their child as surely and finally as if they were his natural parents. No baby is placed in the area where he was born. In Ogden, at present, there are ninety couples who have been accepted as adopting parents. There are sixty-one unwed mothers who have sought help through Children’s Aid whose babies, should they choose to give them up, would be placed. The happiest and best adjusted children are the ones re- Ogden's CHRIS who is persuaded to strap on his six-shooter one more time. This is, very likely, the movie most responsible for launching Marvin to stardom. This is the only award he has ever received. The film should be very enjoyable. Admission is 35 cents with student body card and 50 cents without. Candy, popcorn, and pop will be sold. Give the finest- Model 9 HIGHEST CONSUMER RA PORTABLE TYPEWRITER! Model9 ... with more worthwhile typing aids than any other portable! Full-size keyboard. True office machine touch and action. Front set tabs. Correcting space bar. Vertical half-spacing. Push-buttor paper support. Wide choice of “‘personalized’’type styles. Instant Credit See all the ‘most-gifted’ typewriters here today! KAMMEYER'S 318-24th 394-6669