PAGE 4 HIGHLANDER WEDNESDAY, MEET PREFACE THE APRIL 1, 1970 SCOTS From Cynic to Do-Gooder . . . It's “Positively” Revolting & aRERTNS by Kathy Johnson A while back, I stupidly promised a friend to write an ENTIRELY POSITIVE column before graduation. April Fool’s Day seems to be right in spirit with this suggestion, so I would now like to use this column to charitably further some less popular movement in this school: SAVE THE WORMS FOUNDATION: This foundation is circulating petitions and raising money to install pipes to draw water off the grass during heavy rain-|* storms. It seems recent rains have taken their toll of the worm population at Ben Lomond. At last count, the corpes on the sidewalk numbered 2,774. Shocking! The S. W. F. is also in charge of the annual worm roundup. CHAD Those interested, contact R. J. Squirrel or Bullwinkle J. Moose. LEMAN LEMON AWARD FOR B.L. GUILD: To the members of this guild, it is an embarrassment that every other high school in the area has received the ‘Cynical Citrus” except Ben Lomond. These patriotic people master-mind toilet bombings, phone off-the-wall rippings and other dastardly deeds on Fridays, the official mandatory attendance day for the L.L.A.B.L.G.’s. Contact your nearest dropout. THE CLEANUP JOHN PYNER COMMITTEE: Interested parties contact Mr. Monson, Dawn Briggs or any Debate team member. ~ BROWN BAGGERS’ POLLUTION ORGANIZATION: Is heading a movement for a National Anti-Pollution Day. On this day, at a set time, every citizen of the U. S. will deeply inhale of polluted air and exhale into brown paper bags, Contact picket line. SPIRO AGNEW R. Galvez at your nearest FOR PRESIDENT COMMITTEE: In- terested neonates contact Mr. Ogden, Room 36. PETITION LEGALLY TO DEAD: SAVE THE HAVE See Mr. ADDICTS SPIRO AGNEW Bailey, Room ASSOCIATION: DECLARED 28. instead of directly overhead. B) The puspose being to bring warmth to the poone inhabitants of St. George, Utah. See Scott Ogen. THIS IS NOT THE REAL THING: Fund was organ- 4 Cold)._ § SPIRIT | Next ye: appear at Ben Lomond called Spirit Clan. This clan will replace the present pep club and will be mainly for Jr. girls. A contest is being held to get a Scottish name for the group. Anyone with a suggestion for the name, please’ take it to room 23 or 33 before April 7th. $5.00 will be given to the person ized to raise money to pay lawyer and court fees for a Suit against the Coca-Cola Company for false adertisme. Contact John Prigmore or any member of “John iley”’. LETTERHEAD CLAN: This clan was organized LUCAS Good lookin’ sweet acting, Dave Lucas, “alias Jacey Squires,” is an active member of the Junior Class. He was one of the four quartet singers in this year’s musical, “The Music Man”. Dave sings with both the A Cappella and the Modern Choir. According to many, Dave is a d--- good guitar player. He’s a former member of the Parking Lot Clan, but in the past few months has turned over a new lease on life. Dave has found a new profession—Wendy. You can always find him outside Room 8 every morning, during lunch, and after school. Wondering why? CORNER CLAN a NG BACK THE BOW~MOVEMENT: Interested parties contact Dr. D. PETITION TO THE SUN: This petition states that A) the sun should move in a circle half across the sky to southwest CLAN % uetely east to southeast DAVE STONE This associa- _ when the snack ack b bar is closed down. Their motto is: turkey is for the birds‘. It’s It’s thethe R Real Thing for me. from VICKI This friendly junior, with the ready smile, came to Ogden from Spokane, Washington. She is on the yearbook staff and is our ex-Junior Class vice president (she resigned her office and that’s another interesting story) who claims a 3.83 grade point average. After graduation she plans to go into medicine, specifically microbiology. In her spare time, she practices marching for the Bonnie Lassie tryouts, works at Bud’s Drive Inn and swims. Few people know that Vicki, technically speaking, is not even an American citizen. She was born in Newmarket, England— just outside London. At age eighteen she may choose between U. S. and British citizenship and the decision has already been made—Uncle Sam wins again! He has participated in several of our assemblies and had a role in the major production, “Music Man”. With a 4.00 grade point average he is, of course, a member of the Honor Society. Chad is a talented speaker and this year won a superior rating in extemporaneous speaking at the Region debate meet. He has also been a consistent winner in the back seat of various automobiles. Oooooh! tion raises money to buy free cans of Coca-Cola for all the sophomores who will go through withdrawal fits | CHECKETTS Happy Chad came from Mound Fort Junior High where he was vice president of the student body. Right now Chad is the active vice president of the Seminary. (His philosophy must be that when you’re only number two, you try harder!) whose name was chosen. Enter }as many times as you wish. | Sign up for the Spirit Clan! F will start on April 27th. GERMAN CLAN The German Clan party will be held April 2nd at 1:00 p.m. in the Mount Ogden Park. Activities will include a Easter egg hunt. There will be plenty to eat. Everyone in the clan is invited. by yours truly to get the letterhead for this column that has been promised for seven months now; in order to prove to many people that this column is not written by Gill Allred’s alter-ego. So far, there is only one member who plans to strike for lower dues next month. This column proves one thing—if you think about : ere enough, you can get out of anything. April Fool’s, arry!! handsome new styling ¥ easy operation / finest features — yickshaw boy 88 character keyboard V FAST FOOD — DRIVE-UP WINDOW Come as you are! 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