The Alley Rat by the little man what nose. I’m a member of no political organization. I have never been asked to pledge any club. I belong to no group about school but my own. Why, even the non-orgs have disowned me** you see, I am the original “little man on campus”? **-- I am the Alley Rat. But through these watery eyes of mine? I have seen the “big men” come, and I have seen them kicked out or asked to stay for a post-graduate course. All the while I have remained hidden in the background, keeping to the alleys. I have been observing, always observing, but now I am ready to speak. I shall tell all I know. I’ll talk, and talk plenty. What I know! If you can go around school dressed in the latest fashions one day and then appear in cords and dirty sweater the next day, what are you? A squire. If you can slight your friends and greet your enemies, what are you? A member of the political clan. If you can slap all the pretty girls where you shouldn’t without having them slap you back where they should, what are you? You are a “big man about school.” In future issues I shall tell much interesting phenomena and also how you too can become a B.M.A.S.