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Show The Alley Rat Poison of public Opinion BY THE LITTLE MAN WHAT NOSE NOTE: THE POWERS THAT BE HAVING DECLARED THE "ALLEY RAT" UNCONSTITU¬TIONAL , OR SOMETHING EQUALLY AS HORRIBLE, THIS WILL BE THE LAST ISSUE. I HAVE SPOKEN. I TOLD ALL I COULD BEFORE THE B.M.A.S. DECREED MY DEATH. THEY TRIED TO BRIBE ME, THEY TRIED TO USE FORCE, BUT COULD I BE "BOUGHT OFF"? DEFINITELY NO! I TOLD THEM TO TAKE THEIR PALTRY TEN CENTS AND LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE THEIR "BLOOD" MONEY. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT A B.M.A.S IS AND WHAT CNE DOES. DO YOU OFTEN ASK YOURSELF " THY CAN'T I BE A BIG MAN ABOUT SCHOOL?" WELL I'M PREPARED TO TELL MORE. I WILL TELL IN MY DYING BREATH HOW TO BECOME A B. M. A. S. OR A B. W. A. S. IF YOU HAVE A CAPITALISTIC FATHER, A SUPER CHARGED AUBERN, OR A TELL FILLED DATE BOOK YOU ARE ALREADY IN THE GROOVE. YOU WILL MEET ALL THE PEOPLE WORTH KNOWING. THEN DETERMINED TO ACHEIVE FAME AND GLORY, TO STAND WITH YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND? YOUR HAND IN THE TILL, YOU WILL SAY, "YES, TODAY I WILL BE A B.M.A.S. OR A B.W.A.S. " CHOOSE ONE). GREET EVERY PERSON YOU PASS AND SMILE AT EVERY CUTE GIRL. YOU SHOULD BY ALL MEANS JOIN ABOUT SIX ORGANIZATIONS, BUT DO NOTHING. NOW HEREIN LIES THE SECRET OF IT ALL—DO NOTHING! THUS YOU WILL HAVE LOTS OF TIME TO BE A REGULAR GUY. FLUNK A COURSE, IT TILL GET YOU IN GOOD WITH THE MORON CLASS. RUN FOR OFFICE, ANY OFFICE AND THE DAY TILL FINALLY COME-IF YOU WORK HARD DOING NOTHING— THEN YOU TOO TILL GREET YOUR ENEMIES AND SLIGHT YOUR FRIENDS, WHEN YOU WILL MAKE ENGAGEMENTS SO YOU CAM BREAK THEM. THE DAY TILL COME WHEN NEWS HATKS LIKE THE ALLEY RAT TILL FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND I DON'T MEAN TO COLLECT DEBTS. THEN AND NOT UNTIL THEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO CRIB IN AN EXAM WITHOUT HIDING YOUR NOTES AND SAY " POOO,I FEAR NOT. I AM A B.M.A.S. AS I LIE HERE IN THIS COLD,DESOLATE,DREARY, ALLEYWAY, TOUNDED BY THE BULLETS OF THE "MACHINE'S" MUSCLE MEN, I LIE READY FOR THE END. AS I LIE BACK ON THE COLD,HARD,GROUND,COUGHING BLOOD THROUGH MY "'ARCHED LIPS ( COUGH, COUGH. GURGLE,GURGLE OF BLOOD)? I DIE CONTENT WITH THE WORLD WITH A SMILE UPON MY LIPS, FOR I, THE ALLEY RAT," THE LITTLE MAN ABOUT SCHOOL", HAVE CRACKED THE "MACHINE" AND ITS COHORTS. NOTE: TO THOSE WHO CAN TAKE IT-THE REMAINS OF THE ALLEY RAT ARE DEDICATED. THEY SEEM TO BE FEW ENOUGH. THE ALLEY RAT. here Lies ye unhonorable alley rat. |