And The Rest of the Story November 5, 2013 Newspapers: More than birdcage liners. The Story November 2, 2013 Church annual bazaar is today MARRIOTT-SLATERVILLE — First United Methodist Church is wrapping up its annual Craft Bazaar from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. today. More than 15 vendors are participating, with a variety of handmade goods for sale, including paintings, jewelry crafts, holiday gifts, food baskets, honey from the FUMC garden and more. Santa will be at the bazaar today for pictures. Nursery services will be provided. Food will be available at minimal cost. Admission is free. For more information, call the church office at 801-393-5662 or Colleen Blair at 801-392-5255. FUMC is at 1339 W. 400 North in Marriott-Slaterville, just around the corner from the Weber County Fairgrounds. Today we begin a new feature we like to call "Interesting Stuff You Can Learn From Your Daily Newspaper." I was out of town over the weekend, so I spent Monday morning catching up on my Standard-Examiner reading. Here are half a dozen fascinating facts I gleaned from just a couple of days' worth of papers: • FASCINATING FACT ONE — Texting in a movie theater isn't just rude, it's downright dangerous. Remember that 21-year-old Salt Lake City man who was indicted by a federal grand jury for shooting windows at a Utah synagogue last year? Turns out, it wasn't his first run-in with the law. According to a story in Saturday's S-E: "In 2011, he was found guilty of misdemeanor possession of a weapon with intent to assault after police say he brandished a knife at a man who pulled out a cellphone in a movie theater." Perhaps theater owners could craft that cautionary tale into Where's the War on Christmas when you really need it? • FASCINATING FACT FOUR — In those really creepy stories, the more information that surfaces, the creepier the story gets. Case in point: In an update on Saturday about the Utah County doctor accused of killing his wife, a mistress of the accused "previously testified that he once described over 'pillow talk' how he could induce a heart attack in someone that would appear natural." That's this guy's idea of pillow talk? A clinical primer on getting away with murder? Talk about your poor bedside manners ... • FASCINATING FACT FIVE — Abundant alliteration almost always appears awfully awkward. On the front page of the local section on Sunday, we ran a story about a large group of cats taken from a Brigham City home and placed with temporary families; fried fish wrap an effective "Please silence all cellphones" spot to be shown before feature films. And clearly, this is yet another reason to be polite to others. You just never know when some whackjob is going to overreact to your boorish behavior and escalate things beyond a polite, "Will you please put that cellphone away?" • FASCINATING FACT TWO — Speaking of overreacting, sounds like the king of it has certainly mellowed. I always figured Bernie Goetz was wound a little too tightly. Almost 30 years ago, the "subway vigilante" shot four young black men who claimed to be doing nothing more than panhandling. (Goetz maintained the request for money was a demand.) Well, over the weekend, 65-year- old Goetz was charged with misdemeanor sale and possession of marijuana, after he tried to sell $30 worth of pot to an undercover police officer. Which means, one can't help but wonder if the While we appreciate the effort, some would argue the headline was trying a bit too hard: "Forty felines find foster families." Surely Rowan & Martin's "Farkel Family" would find it flagrantly florid. And finally ... • FASCINATING FACT SIX — What's in a name? Sometimes, plenty. In a Saturday story by S-E staffer Loretta Park, a Bountiful clinical social worker voluntarily surrendered his license to practice after being accused of having a sexual relationship with a 16-year- old girl. The man owned a therapy practice in Centerville, specializing in the treatment of adolescents. And what was the unfortunate, but honest-to-goodness, name of this accused sex offender's business? Therapy on the Fly. Hey, I don't make this stuff up, people. I just report it. Contact Mark Saal at 801-625- 4272, msaal@standard.net, or follow him on Twitter at ©Saalman. Mark Saal Standard Deviations outcome would have been different in 1984 had Goetz been a pot-head who met the teens' confrontation with a simple: "Dudes. Wanna buy some weed? FASCINATING FACT THREE — This just in: The Methodists are going to hell. Why? We base this judgment on a news brief that ran over the weekend, alerting folks to the annual Craft Bazaar on Saturday at the First United Methodist Church in Marriott-Slaterville. According to the brief: "Santa will be at the bazaar today for pictures." Santa? Taking pictures with children? Just two days after Halloween? 214