The Salt Lake Tribune Heres List of Dizziest Doings in Dizzy 1939 By Gladwin Hill NEW YORK, Dec. 31 Theres no doubt about it 1939 was the dizziest year on record. Besides the Russian German treaty, which won the dizzy doings derby in a walk, there were more cockeyed occurrences than you could shake a slapstick at. Here is your curioddity chroniclers slate of nominations for 1939's 10 screwiest events 1. Russia made an alliance with Germany. 2. Some Colorado convicts had to go out and chase some fugitive bloodhounds. 3. Kansas City police ordered that each of the municipal goldfish should receive a bath every Saturday night. 4. A burglar stole a Camden, N. J., a mans false teeth out of his mouth while he slept. 5. A Boston holdup man and his victim ran in opposite directions around a block and bumped into each other in front of a policeman! 6. A man who makes his living eating razor blades got a stomach ache from eating shrimp. 7. A Buffalo, N. Y., burglar advertised for honest work, blaming too much competition. 8. A Lockport, N. Y., man built a model railroad to carry food from the kitchen into the dining room 9. A double jointed truck in Berkeley, Cal., collided with its own rear end. 10. An Ohio man and woman, between them married 15 times, married each other for the second time. The screwy town of the year was Newton, Mass., which appointed a slaughtering inspector, although slaughtering is against the law there; where a woman celebrated her 64th year as a temporary city employe; where firemen, called from a dance, battled a blaze in tuxedoes, and where an absent minded burglar stole 25 homing pigeons. Inventions of the year: A doughnut with a handle, for dunking; a machine that puts your pants on for you; and a sporting mouse trap, that gives a warning. The man of the year? Well, you can have your choice between : The Chicago man who climbed 30 feet up on a billboard to draw a mustache on the girl in the advertisement; and The Elmira, N. Y. man who announced that he had perfected the ability to quack like Donald Duck and laugh like Charlie McCarthy at one and the same time. Happy New Year and a screwy one! Twenty Persons Die In Gale, Flood FUNCHAL, Madeira, Dec. 31 At least 20 persons were drowned and the village of Santa Madelan Domar was destroyed when a gale and rainstorm Saturday turned a small stream into a torrent. German Press Claims Sinking of British Ship BERLIN, Dec. 31 The German news agency, DNB, Sunday reported the British patrol boat Agathe was sunk December 29 by German action. (Janes Fighting Ships lists no vessel named Agathe, but lists the Agate, about 600 tons, as an armed trawler used for antisubmarine operations.) Carnival Holds Sway Today In Quaker City PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 31 Like an invasion of strange people from a strange world, 18,000 followers of King Momus emerge from hideaways in a burst of color Monday for the annual New Years carnival of costume and comedy the Mummers parade. To the lively notes of O, Dem Golden Slippers, grotesquely clad comics and stately captains in satin finery will cakewalk and prance for six hours along Broad street in quest of prizes totaling 22,500.Officials estimate 1,000,000 persons will line the thoroughfare to witness the spectacle. Officials estimate 1,000,000 per-sons will line the thoroughfare to witness the spectacle.