J )EITER TO THE EDITOR: ) lattended the dedication of the G. Lind Science Center a 9) April 23, 1981. It was, for me, Assertive ways of handling stress” -)mocasion of immense personal ¥silisfaction. I would never have J) known about the dedication if the ‘gly ~) April, 1981 issue of COMMENT eber 7 Thad not come to my home. Thus I dents# jam grateful. . . o do | Icame to Normal Weber College wise high school sophomore in 1923. t was) 1 was timid, frightened and poorly “W’"’ | ‘prepared. My home was in| | in 7) Taylor-some seven miles west of nd =) } Ogden. My horizons were limited J} bythe “‘lake”’ to the west and the ~} *nountains’’ on the east. the On the day of registration | Yenrolled in Doc Lind’s geology dass. 1 didn’t know what geology itect + | encompassed and I had never heard che ea of Dr. Lind. A student aid ) Vsiggested I take geology to fill a ce of |) oup requirement. I had no idea } what that meant but I signed up. 31, | ) This was the fortuitous beginning > : top |) irlap|) r. An | }ofmy career as an earth scientist. Iheimpact of that course and the personality of the instructor have never been surpassed in my many | years as student and teacher. _ have covered much ground ive 5 | since September, 1923 but the + } quantum leap, as a timid farm boy, | | toadoor Doc Lind opened for me, +) Jisimmeasurable. For the first time 1 }Icould see a new world of re | | knowledge and challenges. I 5 and | mponded. _ Tadmired Doc Lind; he was in que © } 0logy- as much as the rocks and ‘with | thestreams. He took an interest in » it q ple | ve a’ }me. Not because I was a shining | example in the class room. He knew |! was sincere and loved the story of the good earth. He shared some ‘tfhis specimens with me. The t la Ss, fnew. When he handed me a piece { tilava from Mt. Vesuvius I said in ‘alaltering tone, ‘“Thank you, thank you, Doctor Lind.”’ He smiled and t looked at me with such deep 4 ') ‘elings. 7) The Church closed the high 4 } school facet at Weber Normal ‘College in 1923, so I completed my “J ‘t last two years at Ogden High ) a a 3 nool. In the autumn of 1925 I _fireturned to Weber College and took _ ya Two partners at Weber State College have teamed their skills and training and have come up with workshops and seminars that are in demand both on and off campus. The slight difference in this situation is that the ‘‘partners”’ are a husband and wife team, Drs. Robert and Arlene Stein. Dr. Arlene Stein, professor of nursing and program director for associate degree nursing at WSC, and Dr. Robert Stein, professor of logistics in the school of technology, use their strengths teaching ‘‘Assertiveness’’ and “Assertive Ways of Handling Stress.’ Two years ago Robert read that assertiveness was the subject of the top seminar in business. He and his wife developed their own and have been invited to numerous workshops throughout the western United States. ‘“‘A wide range of people are supervisors, nurses, hospital personnel, IRS auditors, Utah state bill collectors, teenagers, women’s groups and school teachers,’’ said Robert. ‘‘Most people misunderstand assertiveness. They think it means aggressiveness or a ‘me first’ attitude. This is a myth. “Most people misunderstand assertiveness. They think it aggressive- ness ora me first’ attitude. _}i the elementary and secondary _ ) grades of Weber County for four __‘iiyears .. . since I left Weber my pathway has crossed rough ridges +. “4nd meandered over gentle plains. '}}) But the spirit of the Old Sage has | been ever with me. For this I will | be forever grateful. if ‘Sincerely, Assertiveness is the diplomatic mean behavior and an ability to act on your own needs, wants and feelings, while considering the wants, needs and feelings of others,’”’ said Arlene. is one both to by strength bombardment. Each person | | |. Bowman Hawkes gets up and tells good things about themselves, plus good things others |) have said about them. You’d be surprised how difficult this is for dy ¢ retired chairman }f University of Utah '||} Geography Department Robert. Neither passive nor aggressive behavior is as healthy as assertive, and the Steins maintain that a person improves job competencies and learns to handle criticism better. ‘Anger is a natural, healthy emotion. There are two ways of expressing anger - directly or indirectly, like kicking the dog. A person needs to learn assertive ways to attack the behavior, not the other person. “Anger is a natural, healthy emotion . . a person needs to learn assertive ways to attack the behavior, not the other person” Robert. between passive and aggressive Learning assertive behavior of the ways of handling stress, agreed. “The first thing we do is try improve a person’s self esteem most people, but they must accept themselves realistically,’”’ said ‘Direct anger is healthier but sometimes not possible. Normally, direct anger is not as bad as going home and ‘kicking the dog,”’ said This is a myth.” Dr. Robert Stein are all interrelated. interested including managers, means Dr. Arlene Mediation, relaxation, and exercise Wall the classes Doc Lind taughtgeology, mineralogy, and themistry. These courses, along with others, made a teaching certificate possible and I taught in e L words we exchanged were few but there was no need for words. We will TP1 by Arlene Wilson Other stressors are extreme guilt and worry. Often people use guilt as an excuse for continuing the same behavior. “Don’t allow guilt about the past nor worry over the future immobilize you in the present,’’ said Arlene. “Another important point to learn . . . you can’t blame other people for what happens to you. You must accept responsibility for your own actions. For example, a spouse doesn’t make me feel guilty. I feel guilty because I choose to. When you take control of yourself, you stop other people from manipulating you,” said Robert. Stein ‘“‘Yes,’’ added Arlene,”’ manipulation of you by others is very stressful. When you recognize that it relieves the stress. Don’t ask ‘why, the behavior, deal only with the behavior. Manipulators may not recognize what they’re doing, but they zet results with it, whether it’s crying, chronic illness or being chronically late. If it works they continue to use it.” The couple stressed that in assertive behavior a person learns to describe to the other person the ; behavior that is causing problems for them, following steps such as: 1) Describe the unwanted behavior, not the other individual. 2) Express how you honestly feel rd 4 about the behavior. 3) Specify what you would like to see them do in their behavior. 4) Specify what the consequences would be if they changed. Try to be positive, not negative. Class members are also encouraged to keep a diary in order to understand more fully situations and events that are affecting them. The Steins have discovered that most people who genuinely want to change their behavior, do so, although success is greater with a passive person learning to become assertive than with the aggressive person learning assertiveness. “This has also helped us relate to each other better,’’ said Robert, “‘we teach a class and then go out to dinner after for a critique.” ‘““My way to going out to dinner,” said Arlene. ‘Team teaching is nice. What one can’t think of, the other one can.”’ ‘Arlene is excellent at didactic methods and I lean toward participation and discussion. We tend to balance one another and learn from one another,’’ said Robert. The couple are the parents of two sons and a daughter. They have lived in Utah since 1969. Robert came to WSC in 1970 and Arlene joined the faculty in 1972. Page 3 \